Kelly SissyKnickers - short biography

Kelly is a mature-aged, bisexual, kinky, radical, heretical, rock 'n' rolling transvestite. 'She' originally hails from London, but don't hold that against her. What else have you got? Kelly has spent one third of her life in the UK, one third in New Zealand and now one third in Ozland. So the trend has been onwards and upwards.

In her own words...

I've always been fascinated by sex. As a child I used to organise games where all the children in the neighbourhood had to pull their knickers down, then bend over and lick each other's bumhole before they were allowed to enter my "church". I was three years old at the time!

Terrifying to realise that had I been caught, I could have been dragged away and "treated" for my "sickness"!

My interest in ladies underwear developed when I was nine or ten. I used to salvage my mother's Woman's Weekly magazines and collect the pages that featured ads for "brasiers" and corsets.

My teen years were very confusing. Sex was such a no-no in the late 1950s. Was I normal? Was I a "queer"? Was I mad? The word "bisexual" didn't exist back then. More about sex later...

My first job on leaving school? I worked in a radio/TV repair shop (that's TV as in television!), but soon left to join the Merchant Navy as an apprentice engineer. I travelled around, saw action, not of a military kind though. Ten years later I stepped ashore in Auckland vowing never to return to England.

The three most liberating factors in my life have been:

* discovering that I can live on this planet, fearlessly and happily without a so-called 'God' – how wonderful and liberating to realise that there is no wrathful deity watching my every move and judging me fit or unfit for heaven.

* discovering that I can get by without women. For me, bisexuality has meant that I don't have to live my life in quiet desperation, ever on the prowl for that elusive bit of pussy.

* abandoning all pretense of masculinity, being able to be myself and not having to project a false image to earn the approval of other males and women. I was never a tough guy, I hated sport, I didn't fit in. It took me half a lifetime to realise – fuck me dead – I don't have to fit in!!! This is my life, I can be who I want to be.

My interest in bras and corsets was rekindled when, twenty-five years ago, I met a woman who would only have sex with me if I dressed as a school girl. This aroused such powerful feelings in me that one day I'm going to write, if not a book, at least a leaflet about it. Suffice to say, I've never looked back.

Hobbies? I love dancing, painting, snorkeling, sailing and reading. What do I read? Anything, so long as it's well written. At the moment I'm reading The Life and Times of Thomas Paine (co-founder of American democracy), plus the unofficial biography of the Rolling Stones. What am I listening to? New Zealand singer/songwriter, Bic Runga.

What am I angry about? Heaps, but mostly cruelty. Cruelty to children and cruelty to animals. Human beings are sick cunts who don't deserve to survive on this planet because of the abominable way we behave towards the vulnerable and the helpless.

Anything else? Yes, religion, I am anti-religion. I see nothing noble, moral, praiseworthy or decent about brainwashing children to believe a whole heap of superstitious garbage.

What am I exhaltant about? Another day of rampant good health. What is my greatest achievement in life? My son might not agree but I think, being a good father while I had the privilege. My biggest failure? Wrecking my marriage and losing my son.

What am I proud of? I'm pleased that I've learned to string a few words together. I came last in English at school and was told I was illiterate, (daaaa, wot duz that meen?) Lo and behold, people visit me now and ask me to proof-read their work. It's nice to be reasonably good at something.

What are my goals? Yep, I think there's still time to set some of those – to make waves – thundering great big buggers. My greatest extravagance? CDs and frilly knickers!

So that's me – just a screwed-up, weird and wacky deviate. Am I sorry that I didn't become like other people – respectable, respected, wealthy, normal? Fuck no. I'm Kelly – here today gone tomorrow, who'll give a damn ten years after my death whether I behaved or not?

Ciao f' now,
 
Kelly SissyKnickers
Love you with all my mouth!